In life, you don't need many relationships ... You just need to see to it that the relationship you have "has life in it."

 That was the quote sent to me by one of my friends. Since I liked it very much, I thought of sharing it with my friends.

We often mistake the number of friends and relatives with the amount of happiness that a person has. The more the number, the happier the person would be. But is that true? Many times, we have lot of  people around us when we are happy but the moment we are faced with problems, we come to know that the person on whom we put our trust is not to be seen anywhere. On the other hand, there are times when absolutely unknown entities that come to our rescue, those who are able to increase faith in ourselves.

I had learnt to ride a two wheeler. For me it was a big task. I had not even learnt how to ride a bicycle. All these years I never felt the need to learn because my brother was there. Last year, he was hospitalized. It was then that I realized that I had to learn how to ride a two wheeler, that too soon, because I had spent a fortune on conveyance to and from hospital. When my brother came back from hospital, I told him that I wished to buy a two wheeler. Both he and mother were apprehensive but relented finally.

First of all, I had to learn how to balance Scooty. That was indeed a tough job. It took months and lot of falls and bruises to learn. At times, I used to get depressed. Girls younger my age used to ride so effortlessly. Here I was, a stupid little girl, who didn’t even know the difference between a brake and an accelerator. (I had banged with one fellow’s vehicle and had to shell out money.) I used to go with my brother to a ground. I must say he is a very patient teacher. Once, as I was trying to ride, a lady came to me and asked in Gujarati “Tamey Scooty chalaavtaa sheekho chho ne?” (“You are learning to ride Scooty, right?”) I told her that I was learning and it was very difficult for me as I don’t even know how to ride a cycle. What she told me inspired me to go on. She said that she was also like me and never learnt to ride vehicle before. She used to prepare tiffin to earn livelihood and had to go to different places to give it to the customers. That’s when her son made her learn to ride two wheeler. She said it would take time but I would also be able to ride on road very well. I didn’t know that lady personally but the way she spoke to me boosted my confidence. Today, I am able to ride on road well, without banging any one.   I still remember that lady whose kind words helped me overcome my depression.

As another Teachers’ Day approaches, I thank all those who have touched my life in some way or the other, who have taught me that success comes, albeit a little late. Some have been known to me and some, total strangers. Whenever I had a fall in life there’s been some one who has come to give me a helping hand. These are the people who have taught me, to quote Winston Churchill, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

Another Independence Day has come. Should we be happy or sad? Of course happy if we think of Independence Day just in terms of years. After all, 61 years of  free India isn't a small  achievement. Neither is the scientific development that has taken place during this time. But is this what is meant by freedom? We can call ourselves free only if each of us is free. But is that the case? Look around and you'll find that people are being trampled up on. Religion and region, not nation, has become the core issue now. If terrorists are raising their heads, are we not to be blamed? They know we can be divided easily over petty issues. Years back, when freedom fighters fought for the independence of the country, they fought together for India, keeping their regional and religious differences aside. Isn't it time that we come together once again? Let independence be not merely for a day, hoisting and celebrating. Let us inculcate this spirit throughout the year and throughout our lives.

There's one surprise which I want to share with my ilander friends. Today is my second birthday on the iland. I got to make many friends. When I started blogging, I was scared. I wasn't sure what kind of people would I meet. But, thank God, my experiences have been very good. My friends have guided me along the way. I have got chidings from some too, all with good intentions, though. But I feel sad too because some of my very dear friends have left the iland for good. May be they have gotten better prospects and better friends. I am an emotional fool, right? But can't help. That's the way I am.

Thanks to all my friends who have endured my dumb ideas. I owe my success on iland to each one of you.

I got this SMS forward from one of my colleagues. And I felt I should share with all my friends, those who stood by me and encouraged me when I was feeling low. Thanks a lot, dear friends.

Sometimes, the smallest of gestures go right to the heart.

>   A smile from a stranger when you are lost in a crowd,

>   An old friend calling from a distant land just to say 'I miss you.', 

>  The touch of a mother's hand on your forehead when you are unable  to  sleep, 

>  A message from a friend asking what's wrong when you thought no one could notice,

> A hand on your shoulder when it feels like the world is against you,

> An unexpected hug 

Sometimes, it's the tiniest of things that bring a smile in the hardest of times. 

I heard a very nice story today.

One person had gone to meet a little girl. He asked her to show the doll that she had. The girl told him, "I'll show it to you only if you promise me that you will not laugh or make fun of me." The gentleman agreed.  The little child ran inside the room, brought the doll and showed it to him. He was shocked. The doll was in tatters. It's hair had fallen, one limb was broken. It didn't resemble the kind of toy that children would like to hold.  He asked the girl, "The doll's hair is gone. Its leg is broken. Do you still like this tattered doll?" The girl replied, "Of course, I like this doll. If I won't like this doll, who else will?"

Isn't it the same case with our relationship with God? God lends a helping hand when our life is in tatters, when we cease to believe in ourselves and, like the broken doll, we are in need of a shoulder to cry up on. I treat God as my friend, a friend who has given me the liberty to share all sorrows, who's a patient listener, who never argues with me. He's a friend who always shows me the right path. What more can I ask?

On this Friendship Day, I hope that all my friends renew their friendship with God. May He give you the peace that you are longing for.

Wish you all A Happy Friendship Day. 

There is a well-known anecdote about Calvin Coolidge, who, when he was President of US, was often called "Silent Cal". 

A young newspaperwoman was sitting next to him at a banquet, so the story goes, and turned to him mischievously.

"Mr. Coolidge," she said, "I have a bet with my editor that I can get you to say more than two words to me this evening." 

"You lose,"  Coolidge rejoined simply. 

Parents' and teachers' meeting in school can be a volatile affair. So when I was told that this meeting was to be held, I was a bit nervous, more so because I was teaching a subject like Social Studies for the first time in my teaching career. The syllabus of this subject was very wide. And I have a habit of giving some points from outside the textbook. I was very sure that parents would object to that. I thought they would say that as it is the course is very wide. On top of that, I am giving extra information which is not required. I was preparing myself  for a verbal assault from them. I went to the place where the meeting was conducted. Fortunately, there were other teachers before me who rose to state their points of view. So I got some time to think what to tell the parents. 

When my turn came, I told the parents that I was teaching the subject for the first time. So that was a new experience for me. If  they could come up with some suggestions, I would be very happy to consider them as that would help me to improve my style of teaching. I told the parents that I want students to develop reasoning power. And that has to start from an early age. Then I put the ball in their court. I told them that, as parents, they know what's good for their children. If they want me to stick to the book, I'll do that. If they don't mind my giving extra information, I'll give those to students. To my surprise, all the parents agreed that I should give students extra information too as it would help them in future. None of them grumbled.

What could be the reason of such a positive response? Was it because they were too scared to say anything against the teacher, thinking that their child's academic future was at stake? Or was it because I did not thrust my point of view on them? I asked for suggestions from them. When you state that what you say is correct, many people may object. That's what happens in life. We tell children not to do something but we don't explain why not to do. That's why most of the time when children are told not to do something, they'll do that first. That's what one should never do. I followed the same policy with parents. Deal with them patiently, explain things properly and they won't mind. Try that.

Today I heard a news about a teenager from Bengal, Shinjini Sengupta. She had participated in  a Dance Reality show. The judges criticised her for her performance. She could not take criticism in her stride, went in to severe depression and suffered from paralytic attack. She cannot move her hand or body nor can she speak now.

This news set me thinking. Who's to be blamed for Shinjini's condition? It's not only Shinjini. Most of the teenagers can't face defeats and criticism. What can be the reason? Most of the times, parents are at fault. They put pressure on their wards to excel. Remember, the focus is on excelling, being better than the rest. So, instead of saying "Do Your Best", parents often say "Be the Best." Moreover, kids are not made to face tough life ahead. Parents are over-protective. Children cannot be scolded for their misdeeds because one never knows how they will react. And when such children grow up, they become frustrated adults. They do not have the courage to face life's problems. Failure scares them terribly.

It's high time that parents realise that it's a big, bad world out there and children must be made to realise this aspect too. And the sooner they realise it, the better it is for them. I do not know whether Shinjini's parents had told her before appearing on the show that whether she won or lost, it didn't matter to them. Of course, the judges too may have been at fault. I have noticed that the judges judge a 16 year old participant and a 25 year old participant in the same way. This is not good. There should be different criteria for both the groups. And I always wonder whether those who judge the participants have themselves been faultless. Instead of saying that "Your performance was bad", it can always be stated that "You can do better." I have always said to my students, "Okay, you did not do well today but next time remember to do it like this." When you put things in a positive manner the response will also turn out to be positive.

This is the story which I heard somewhere. I don't know who has written it but it's interesting for sure.

This story is about three monkeys. Once, as they were roaming, they saw a mountain. Two of those monkeys talked to each other and decided that they would climb that mountain. One monkey tried. Half way through, he became very tired and came down. He told his friends that it was impossible to climb the mountain. The other monkey also tried, but came back unsuccessful. He too said that it was impossible to climb that mountain. The third monkey who saw the two friends climb the mountain and return half way, tried. He went up slowly. He reached the first bend, then the second, then the third. He put in great effort. All the while, his eyes were set on the mountain summit. Ultimately, he reached there.  After a while, he slowly got down while his two friends waited. Why do you think the first and the second monkeys could not climb the mountain but the third one could? The third monkey was deaf. He couldn't hear the negative comments that his friends had stated. He started with the grit and determination that the other two were lacking.

Don't we face similar situations in our life? So many times, we have not attempted to do something because many people have told us that it's not possible to do it. We do not question their wisdom. We are scared of failures. We find certain mountains insurmountable. But do we ever try to climb them? Life gives us chances. It depends on how well we use them. Take one step at a time. Do not let negative thoughts creep in your mind. Then your path would surely lead you to success.

Life springs up such wonderful surprises!!

The other day, I had gone to a shop to get my mobile's talk time recharged. An incident happened which set my thought process working. As I recharged my mobile, two young girls came with a small girl who would have been around two years old. Within seconds I heard the little kid say "Maney naani rickshaa joiye." (That's 'I want the small rickshaw' in Gujarati.) One of the ladies told the kid "Ahinyaa rickshaa naa hoy." (You won't find rickshaw here.) "Chhe" (It's there.),  the kid said immediately.   When the lady told the child to point out where the rickshaw was,  she pointed to one extreme corner of a showcase. And there it was, a yellow and black toy rickshaw. All those who were present in the shop were amazed at the outcome. How could such a small child observe things which adults missed out?

Isn't it true that we miss out on so many little joys that life gives us almost every day? May be, that's because we have our own set of prejudices, snobbishness, ego. We do not see things with an open mind. That child taught me to look in the corner of our own hearts, to find the real 'me'. Somewhere in the corner of my heart, I am snobbish too. I do not take defeats in the right spirit. I blame others easily. It's time that I change myself. If  I can change myself, the world will surely change too.

The mall culture that's developing in the cities of India scares me. Of late, numerous mall have come up in my city of Baroda. Many more are coming up. The life style of the people has changed. My mom stated recently that till a few years back, even if people had money, they wouldn't buy any eatables for their children. Now they let children choose what they want to buy. I wonder whether it's it good for little children to decide these things.  Now-a-days, if  friends have to meet, they will meet in one of the mega malls, do some chatting, may be, spend a few hours shopping, eat food and go back home. There used to be a time, not long ago, when friends used to come home, not only to meet friends but their family members too. Times have changed for sure.

May be, I am delving too much into the negative aspects of mall culture. But recently when I went to one of the Mega Stores with my family members, I was in store for a pleasant surprise. No, no, I did not meet a long lost friend. Something better happened. My mom became very nostalgic. The thing is that we were strolling around in the Veggie section of the mall. My mom saw a fruit in the packet. It was not the kind of fruit that I had seen in Baroda before. But she recognised it instantly. We bought a packet home. That fruit is known as Pomelo. Why did my mom become nostalgic? When she was a school going child, she had eaten Pomelo. She told me that her she and her friends used to pool in money and buy Pomelo. They would share it and eat on the way to school. I was amazed to know how a mall and a fruit could take my mom back to her childhood days!!!

Two sides of the same coin? May be. It's the way how you look at it. And yes, I have relished eating Pomelo too. May be, when you visit a mall next time, you may also get a chance to become nostalgic.